Unprofessional
by Rebekah Rourke
Summary: This story is adapted from the movie American History X. Madison Long is a hardworking psychiatrist who didn't want to end up in a boring life. But when she is forced to help a certain patient, she begins to act unprofessionally.
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: I do not own Derek or Daniel Vinyard. But I do own Madison Long and Dahlia Prince. P.S. There is a reference to Fight Club!

Madison Long stood in the line, wondering whether to get a blueberry or chocolate chip muffin with her coffee. To-go. Everything in her life was to-go. In college, she never thought that being a psychologist would cost so much time. She wanted her patients to-go; she had wanted her degree to-go. When she first began her career in the local hospital, she never had regulars. Always just troubled youths, usually from a gang. She hated the part of town she lived in. She hated the fact that she hadn't the option for anywhere else to go. She could only do so much with her money and right now it was invested in her over-priced apartment. But her office would always feel like home too. Her patients now were usually ex-convicts or some still in jail, doing time for their buddies. She feared prison from all the horrors her patients endured during their stay. She couldn't even begin to imagine the terrors that went on there.

"Next." the clerk announced, startling Madison. She eyed the menu once more.

"Uh…a regular coffee and a…uh…blueberry muffin, please…to-go." she added. Madison waited patiently, hoping she wouldn't be late for her first appointment. A bell hung plainly on the door, ringing loudly, alerting everyone that someone had just entered the diner. Derek and Daniel Vinyard came into the small diner. Madison saw the two and rolled her eyes. _Damn skinheads_, she thought.

"What do you want?" Derek asked his little brother, Daniel, quietly.

"Can I just get a doughnut or somethin'?"

"Sure can. What kind?" Derek asked, sounding like a genuinely caring older brother.

"Chocolate." Daniel said, walking over to a table, lighting up a cigarette. Madison tried to ignore the two behind her. Even though she was in the clear (because she was white), she still was scared. She gripped her car keys tighter, contemplating leaving the diner or not.

Derek Vinyard looked at the woman in front of him. She wore a dark grey skirt, tighter around her hips, and a grey blazer to match. Her body curved inward in her midsection and then smoothly went down to her rounder, wider hips. Derek eyed her form head-to-toe. He thought her back end wasn't so bad and only wished that she would turn to face him, hopefully that wouldn't be too disappointing. Her hair was jet black and shined as though it were a glare on a window. He thought she was a gorgeous, _white_ woman. He almost forgot that he already had Stacey. She was in his crowd and was, no doubt, a little rough around the edges. Danny was still seated, quietly. Derek looked to him and made a goofy face to his little brother, trying to show the interest in the woman who stood in front of him. He winked to Danny, causing him to laugh. Madison looked over to Daniel and saw him giggling at his brother. She shot her head around and looked at Derek.

She saw his shaved head and his rugged features. Although it was against her better judgment, she found him to be attractive. He had royal blue eyes and a charming smiled that was wrapped by a goatee-moustache combination. She felt as if she were staring at him, but in reality it was only seconds. He looked into her eyes and decided for himself that she _really was_ gorgeous. He was never really emotional until it came to the whole race "issue" and he found it hard to believe that he was sizing up this woman who stood in front of him. But this woman was something else to him; he couldn't quite figure it out. Her hazel eyes, with an observant nature. Her pouty lips, so delicate, full, pink. Her cheek well formed in two small cups on her face leaving just the right definition of her cheek bones. Her skin looked smooth and creamy and glowed of an olive color. She turned back around. Derek regretted ever looking at her with such an intense stare. He knew he could scare any woman off if he looked at her the right way. Derek wanted to introduce himself but was too shy. That was the aspect of Derek's persona that people knew nothing about; he didn't know how to approach women.

Upon meeting his girlfriend, Stacey, _she_ had been the one who approached him. She walked over, swaying her little bony hips and looked at him with a devilish stare. She whispered softly in his ear, speaking of the dirtiest things imaginable. And before Derek knew it, she was begging him to spend the night, softly caressing the crotch of his pants. Derek couldn't deny that he liked it but he felt a little pushed into it. He didn't like her _that much_. He always wanted a full woman who was admirable and was articulate.

Madison looked to the clerk and grabbed her coffee hastily. She turned around. Derek took a breath and began to say "Hi." Madison walked past him leaving his mouth agape. He felt a little crushed by her gesture. She obviously wasn't interested in talking or anything. Daniel burst into laughter. Derek shot his head toward him.

"What a ladies man!" Daniel exclaimed in hysterics. Derek smirked slightly, his cheeks growing a hue of pink.

"Fuck off." Derek laughed along, shaking his head with that embarrassed smirk, "she can go fuck her niggers anyway. I don't give a shit." Daniel laughed more. Derek still vented, "Nigger-lover." Was the only conclusion he could come to see why any beautiful white woman wouldn't want to speak to him. Derek looked out the window quickly and watched her walk to her car.

"Yeah, that's it. Or maybe she wasn't interested." Daniel insulted him. Derek looked back at his little brother and flipped him off.

"You're a real nice guy." Daniel taunted.

"Fuck her. She's just a waste of my time." Derek said as his final words before moving on to another subject.

Madison turned the key in the ignition and looked one more time into the diner. _Why are you doing that? Just go_, she commanded herself. She pressed her foot gently on the gas pedal and drove off.

Madison anticipated leaving this part of the city. Here, everyone fought everyone. It didn't matter if you were a good person or not, if you were of color or if you were a dedicated skinhead like Derek, you would constantly be looking over your shoulder. Madison had heard about Derek Vinyard before, back when he assaulted all the employees in a little grocery store. She never expected him to look like _that_. He reminded her of an ex-boyfriend she once had. Her ex was certainly handsome but deep down inside, he was scum. But, Derek Vinyard traced along her mind like a set of plans you had made; you try to remember them.

It was all his fanaticism about race that he had made him a fearsome creature. He stretched the limits on violence in the streets. She trembled at his organized crimes against other solely on their heritage. She had once had a patient from an attack of Derek's. The way her patient lit a new cigarette whenever his last one ran out, the way his body quivered when speaking about his incident, the way he now had despised his culture was all an emotional scar tattooed across his forehead. Nothing she'd say made him feel any better. She thought that people like Derek Vinyard would wind up in jail and rot in there for the rest of their days.

She walked into her office building with the rest of her coffee in one hand. She walked over to the elevator and waited for the doors to open.

Madison never pictured herself as a woman with a steady boring life, back in college. But, the more she worked the more she fell into the same routine. She'd get her breakfast. To-go. She would drive to her office through the ratty neighborhood into the bigger part of the city. Then she'd drag ass and watch the floors light up on the elevator meter. She'd walk into Dahlia Prince's office, her secretary, greet her, and then get her mail. Go to her own desk and start the day of revealing and confession. I am Jack's wasted life.

DING! The bell sang loudly to Madison. Her eyes lit up and she walked into the elevator. Today was different to Madison. She never usually ran into a person like Derek Vinyard every morning of her monotonous life. Not only because his reputation but rather that she had found him to be… attractive even though she pictured him to look as someone else. Madison sighed and took another sip of her bittersweet coffee, thinking about her bittersweet run-in with Derek Vinyard.

"So… have any dates?" Dahlia joked. Madison looked at her and rolled her eyes.

"Phhh… please I haven't had a date in two years." Madison replied, smiling politely, "How's Christian?" she said, thinking of Dahlia's gorgeous boyfriend. Dahlia blushed in a virginal innocence.

"Oh… he's wonderful. Here's your mail. You got something from a home address." Dahlia concluded. Madison was confused. She never received mail from a home address just from the state.

"Huh…well, I'll see you." Madison said curiously. She stepped into her office and stared at the little knick-knacks on her desk. Ordinary people would have pictures of their family and/or spouse but not Madison. She only had stress relief balls and scented candles. What an office. Inside her desk drawers were crumbs from fat-free chips and yellow notebooks stacked high with notes of diagnosis. To the left of her desk stood a bookshelf, with odd books from every genre. It only revealed that Madison Long had a scattered personality. She propped her leather bag on her sofa that sit in front of her desk. She placed her coffee down and her mail. Madison took a deep breath and plopped herself in her wheeled chair. She sighed and reached over for the house letter. The handwriting was neat in its simplistic cursive. Addressed from Ms. Doris Vinyard. Madison stopped reading. _Doris __**Vinyard**_ She asked herself. She frantically ripped the seams of the envelope and unfolded the letter inside.


	2. Chapter 2

Disclaimer: I do not own Derek, Daniel, or Doris Vinyard. But I do own Madison Long and Dahlia Prince.

_Doctor Long,_

_I am writing to you on behalf of my eldest son, Derek. In recent events, his behavior has been violent and erratic. I am concerned that his behavior will soon enough get him into trouble. I have tried everything in my power to seek help fro him but no one has accepted my challenge. I am not asking for your services for Derek but instead I am seeking help for myself. I feel as if I am out of control when it comes to my children and I only fear that I will never be a good mother. I want your help. Please, give me guidance so I can get support from my family. We cannot afford to split up. My oldest son is all I have to at least be a good father figure. I lost my husband some time ago and after that my family became a mess. Help me clean it up. I wish for you to come to the address on the envelope around five thirty tomorrow evening so we can discuss payment and what you can provide for me. Please do not be afraid to come to the house. I hope to see you soon. _

_-Doris Vinyard_

Madison looked down to her stress relief balls. She picked one up and squeezed tightly. Her life was on the verge of change and she didn't even know it. She questioned whether or not to go. The letter seemed to be a cry fro help, no doubt about that. But the pleading tone of her letter made Madison feel guilty if she chose not to counsel her.

"Well she did say that I was treating her son…" Madison tried to convince herself. Madison put the note back on her desk and strummed her finger on the wooden top.

"What to do… what to do…" she trailed off. The phone rang loudly causing Madison to jump. Dahlia's voice came over from the speaker phone.

"You first appointment is in ten minutes. You ready?" Dahlia asked pleasantly. Madison collected all her mail on her desk and started shoving it into a draw.

"Uh… yeah. Try not to scare me like that." Madison panted. Dahlia laughed.

"Sorry about that." Madison thought deeply of her request. If she did help Doris Vinyard then she would be at risk to succumb to Derek's needs too. Not that Madison didn't like to help people; she really did, but being near a fearsome person like Derek made her skin crawl. She despised anybody racist. Madison felt like talking to Dahlia for some advice but she wouldn't know that half of her situation, not to impugn on Dahlia's talks, but she was awfully younger than Madison. She tried reasoning with herself to not do it but each time she agreed to stay away her conscious told her otherwise. _This woman needs your help_, it would say to her. She decided to think about it tonight when she was eating her TV dinner watching "The Price Is Right", after all she did have until tomorrow evening to decide.


	3. Chapter 3

Disclaimer: I do not own Derek, Daniel, Davina, or Doris Vinyard. I also do not own Seth Ryan. But I do own Madison Long. There is also a reference to the band The Eagles.

Madison pulled up to the curb and thought seriously about leaving. She had made it to Doris' house but hadn't the stomach to go. One part of her mind told her to stay but the rational part said _just go home. You're going to get into danger if you stay._ Any normal person would have gone. But since Madison had been bewitched by those royal blue eyes, she stayed. She turned the key in the ignition and the engine's low rumble had stopped. All she heard now was a ticking inside the engine. Madison heaved a breath out and collapsed her head on the steering wheel. BEEEEEEEEEEEEP! The car's horn screeched. Madison quickly lifted her head up and felt her cheeks burn.

"Shit. Shit Shit." she yelped softly. She looked to the right and saw a door opening. Madison frantically looked for her leather purse. Her hands felt around the car's velvet interior. Under the seat, on the floor. She finally picked up her bag and looked out her window. Madison's body jolted as she saw the face of Derek Vinyard. Only, he wasn't politely smiling. Madison pushed the button on the left and the window went down slowly, climatically.

"Is there any particular reason why you're loitering around here. It's private property, Mrs. …" Derek said in his smooth, low voice. Madison was taken back from the way he spoke so clearly and calmly. It was almost like he was dancing around their interaction in the diner just yesterday morning.

"Ms. Long. I'm so sorry; I didn't mean to disturb anybody. I came here to see-"

"Doris. Right?" Derek said a smile forming for the corners of his mouth. Madison sighed awkwardly.

"Yes. Is she home?" Derek looked down at his feet.

"Yeah. She was waiting for you to show." he said, returning his attention back to Madison.

"Oh…sorry to make her wait. I just hit a little bit of traffic on the way here. You see I don't usually make house calls." Madison said nervously. Her thighs quivered and her fingers felt numb. Derek laughed.

"Oh, I see. Well come on inside." Madison stepped out of her car, clutching her purse like a security blanket. Derek opened the front door open and let Madison slip inside. She wondered if he would have been polite if she were black. His house was small and quaint. The walls decorated with sign, all reciting a peaceful phrase. It smelt of cigarettes and home cooking. Madison found it oddly comforting. She wondered if the peaceful décor was an act put up by Doris so that visitors would feel safer although there were members of the Mein Kempf living there. The house didn't seem chaotic at all and Madison wondered why Doris had asked her there.

"This is my mother Doris. Mom, this is Mrs. Long." Derek said.

"It's Ms. Long. How do you do?" Madison couldn't believe how formal she sounded. Derek shot her a look as if to say; _Why aren't you married_? Doris felt a pang of relief shoot through her body. Perhaps she was going to get the help she was after.

"Oh, I'm fine. It's so nice to finally meet you. Uh, let me introduce you to my family." she said urging her forward. Madison felt apprehensive about meeting the _whole_ family. On the sofa was a girl, almost a replica of Doris. Her school lay on her lap and her blond hair was messy with golden curls. She looked up and saw her mother and Madison.

"Davina this is Dr. Long. Ms. Long, this is Davina my oldest daughter." Doris said, her eyes flickered with pride. Mrs. Vinyard loved her daughter.

"Hi. I hope you can help us…" Davina faded off hoping Derek wouldn't mouth off to her. Madison could hear Derek behind her, his jaw tightening.

"I hope I can help you. And this is?" Madison asked looking at the infant a young teen carried.

"Oh, this is my youngest Alice and that's my son Daniel holding her." Doris said, admiring the way Daniel hadn't been so bigoted as his older brother. Daniel looked up with a sickly drowsiness. Madison could easily conclude that he was a smoker and a drinker.

"Aww, she's sweet. Hi Daniel, I'm Dr. Long." she said, unsure if Daniel would accept the fact that a psychiatrist was there to help out his "family". Danny looked to Derek behind her and smirked.

"Hi _Doctor_ Long. So nice to meet you." He said crossly. Madison could tell that he recognized her from the Diner. She didn't mean to appear so rude but rather than introduce herself to them that morning, she rushed out. She couldn't help but feel scared. Daniel should have not looked to his brother. Derek was acting like he hadn't seen her.

"Well, that's my family. Uh…… why don't we go to another room to talk?" Doris sounding like she was anticipating leaving the tension of the room. Madison nodded politely and she was followed behind Doris into a small bedroom. Madison sat on the end of the bed, across from Doris. She lit up a cigarette. Madison pulled out her tape recorder.

"Is it okay if I record this session?" Doris nodded blowing the smoke from her dry lips.

"Okay. So why did you seek my help Mrs. Vinyard?"

"I am loosing my family." Madison's eyes widened a bit from her directness.

"You're loosing your family. To what?"

"To the damn clan. Don't get me wrong, my daughters will never turn out like Derek and Daniel have. I am loosing my sons to the Mein Kempf."

"How do you know that you're loosing them?"

"Because when their father was still around… they never would have gotten so bad. Now they're go to meeting and come home drunk and they believe every word of propaganda given to them about the damn race issue. I fear Derek will change Danny into himself." Doris choked on her words. Madison felt bad for her. She obviously was dealing with much harsher, intense problems than she thought.

"Tell me of one instance where Derek's behavior caused…tension." she faded. Doris sighed.

"One evening, while eating supper, A friend of mine was over and he was discussing the oppression of black people and jews…"

Doris told her everything that happened. The way he spoke. The way he threw Davina around like a rag doll. The way he addressed Doris' friend to leave. The way his girlfriend Stacey let it all happened and the way that Danny had watched it all and became like his brother.

"You told him to move out. Why hasn't he left?" Madison said feeling like she was going to cry.

"I don't know. Because Stacey has to make arrangements for him at her house… I shouldn't have said what I said. He's lost forever."

"What did you say to him?"

"I told him… I…" Doris began to cry. Her tears streamed down her face. Her cigarette burned mournfully.

"It's okay… just tell me." Madison comforted her. No matter how polite or supportive she was, it was of no use to Doris. She was living with a nightmare.

"I said that I was ashamed that he came out of _my body_." Madison was taken back.

"Why do you think you said that? Do you love your son, Mrs. Vinyard?" Doris didn't speak for awhile. Her eyes could only tell her tales of sadness and only became blank when talking about happy times, like she had no definite meaning to the word "happy".

"I… I don't know anymore." was the harsh truth that came from Doris's mouth. Madison looked down at her hand, the pen shaking causing it to write scribbles on her yellow notebook.

"Mrs. Vinyard… I think you do love him. But like you said… he's lost and to be honest. I don't know if I will ever be able to help him find himself. But I can help you. First, you need to stop comparing your sons to their past. The only explanation I have for their _change_ is the remorse of their father's death. How did your husband die Mrs. Vinyard, if you don't mind my asking?"

"He was shot at his work by a … black man." Madison nodded and she understood why Derek had the obligation of his racial slurs. She tried to form an opinion of what Doris should but nothing stood ground. The only thing Madison could do was to have three therapy sessions a week.

"Mrs. Vinyard… I… I can help you. No one is beyond my help. I am going to have to have three therapy sessions a week. Is that okay?" Doris pushed the lit end of her cigarette down into the ash tray.

"I'm sorry Ms. Long. I can't afford to pay for that."

"Don't worry about pay. This is free of charge." Doris looked at her and she made an honest effort to smile. It was almost like the muscles that controlled smiling hadn't been used in over ten years. Madison stood up, placing her notebook and recorder into her leather bag.

"Oh… thank you Dr. Long. You don't know what help you've been. Why I can't even explain-" Doris' acknowledgement was interrupted. The Vinyard's front door was being pounded on and outside you could hear the curses of a Mein Kempf member.

"Let me in you free motherfucker!" a voice shouted. Derek and Daniel both laughed. Doris looked to Madison.

"Maybe you oughta go. I won't stand for you to be a part of this intrusion." Doris said, almost pushing her into the living room.

"What wrong Mrs. Vinyard?"

"Oh, it's one of Derek's friends. I can't stand him. Well I will make an appointment. Okay?" Doris said walking into the living room. Madison nodded and looked forward to see a robust man standing next to Daniel. _What the hell?_, was the only thing that came to mind when she saw him. He stared at her a smiled.

"Who's this Danny? Your new girlfriend?" the man said rather crudely. Danny laughed and looked at Derek, who was becoming increasingly red.

"Seth, shut the fuck up. This is my mom's… friend." Derek looked to Madison, "Ms. Long, this is a friend of mine Seth Ryan." Seth held his hand out. Madison shook his hand politely hoping she would gag about how clammy his hands were.

"Hi Seth. I'm Dr. Long. I was just on my way out."

"Doctor? What kind of Doctor?" Seth said still gripping her hand. Madison swallowed hard in her throat.

"I'm a psychiatrist." Seth shot a look to Doris, who seemed like she was hiding behind Madison.

"So you came here to fuck with Doris' head?" he said angrily. Madison shook her head and saw Derek jump the Seth's attention.

"Seth, where the fuck are your manners?" Derek said placing a hand on Seth's shoulder. Doris looked to Derek, shocked that he wasn't taking the side of his friend. Something was wrong with him, to Doris.

"I'm sorry Ms. Long, you'll have to excuse my friend here. Would you like me to escort you to your car." Derek offered. Madison blushed slightly.

"Yes." She didn't know why she had accepted his offer. Normally she could just carry her belonging out to the car sit inside and maybe hum a song or two. But when Derek offered to escort her to her car, something inside of her leapt with the enthusiasm as a kid on Christmas.

Derek smiled politely and walked to the front door, holding it open so Madison could sneak by. Her silver car mocked her as if it were singing "Ha, ha, ha! You've gotta leave!" She didn't want to go. Doris needed her there and she was determined to help her out in any way possible. Even if it meant being exposed to the harsh realities of racism. Derek turned to Madison and no longer saw his polite smile, but rather a concerned scowl.

"Listen, Ms. or Mrs. Long, I don't need help with anything. Especially with my mother. She just can't accept the fact that my opinions are more realistic. Listen to my friend Seth and don't go fucking with her head." Derek advised with disdain. Madison felt an anger well up inside her. But, being a professional therapist, she controlled her impulse to yell at him.

"Derek, if you feel that I am going to 'mess' with your mother's head then why would I be in your house, upfront showing it? I don't screw with people's mind. I help them release a built up anxiety that they can't deal with on their own. I am not asking you to like me. I am asking you to leave your racist bullshit and your arrogant attitude to yourself. I have much better things to do than listen to the rantings of a little _boy_." Madison verbally bashed herself for speaking that way. What she said was not the way she should have handled it. She couldn't help but use the same attitude she had received from her patient's _son. _

"Oh and another thing… move out soon. You're beginning to drive your whole fucking family insane." Madison retorted. She had made another mistake. Derek stood there dumbfounded. He wanted to whack her. Stacey wouldn't have said anything like that to him which made Madison's words all the more inexcusable. Madison stomped over to her car and slammed the door shut, with her inside. She blasted the radio and Derek was left there, at the driveway, listening to the ramblings of The Eagles. Madison was positive that she was never going to deal with Derek Vinyard again.


	4. Chapter 4

Disclaimer: I do not own Doris, Dan, Dennis, or Derek Vinyard and I also don't own Cam. But I do own Dahlia Prince and Madison Long.

Doris bounced her knee as she took a long, dramatic drag of her cigarette. She didn't bother to inhale but rather let the bitter smoke sit on her lips. It swirled out of her mouth as if it were salvation. Derek sat upfront eyeing the roads, waiting for traffic to pull up. A long and slow crawl.

"I wish you knew better than to see a god damn shrink." Derek argued plainly. Doris was determined not to let anything bother her today.

"Oh Derek, don't treat her like she's one of them god damn witch doctors. She just wants to help. And we better get going… I don't wanna miss the appointment."

"Wait patiently Ma… I can't move the cars…" Derek said, making gestures with his hands so Doris would get the point.

"What is she gonna help you with?" Danny asked, sitting in the back seat, slouched. Doris looked into her mirror. She smiled softly, looking at Danny.

"Nothing, baby. She and I are just gonna talk." She said in a motherly way. Danny found it hard to believe.

"Ma…don't treat me like I'm two fuckin' years old." Danny said, pulling a cigarette out of his pocket, covering the flame with his hand hoping the cigarette would light fast.

"Danny, I am still your mother. Don't talk to me like Derek does…" Doris faded in protest. Derek shot her a look.

"Don't compare me to Danny like I am some sort of evil maniacal role model. The kid makes his own decisions. Just be glad he's made the right ones." Derek said looking back to the road. Danny didn't know what to say. He just heard it and wondered to himself if he had made the right decisions. The brutal honesty was that Daniel didn't know what he believed in. He agreed with what Derek said but he always hadn't seen what Cam called "true commitment" or "hard time". Daniel was always fearful of what Derek's loyalty meant to Cam. Derek blew the horn as if her were bellowing out his anger. Doris and Danny looked up front and saw the corvette in front of them filled with black people.

"As if they weren't peddling enough fuckin' drugs in this country. Now they are going to put their welfare to waste." Derek said throwing up his middle finger with a condescending smile on his face. Doris was used to this kind of behavior from her sons. Only Danny wasn't so fanatical about it. He didn't have tattoos portraying his hate against other people. The only discouraging thing he did to his mother was start up smoking. Derek pulled up close to a curb. Doris looked up to see a tall building with windows that were more like mirrors. Each one of them showing Doris' tragic family.

"Well, this is your stop." Derek said in an unpleasant voice. Doris stepped out of the car timidly, afraid of looking at herself in those mirrored windows. She turned back and looked to Derek and Danny.

"I love you boys. You know that right?" she said, closing the door still looking through her opened passenger window. Derek rolled his eyes and looked to the road. Danny smiled innocently.

"We love you too, Ma." Danny spoke for the both of them. Derek was just about ready to pull out when looked back to his mother.

"Oh and tell your fuckin' kike that she doesn't have to worry about my family's sanity. I'm moving out tonight." Derek said, finally speeding away. Danny looked to his brother as they went back onto the road.

"What the hell was that all about?" he blurted. Derek laughed softly.

"_Dr. Long_… she tried telling me off. Damn, she gets pretty when she's angry. Too bad she's a dumb bitch." Derek said, almost turning a hue of red. Daniel felt confusion wipe over him.

"You're fuckin' wacked, man. Since when did her being 'pretty' have anything to do with it. You should have said something back." Daniel retorted almost as if her were trying to convince Derek to dislike her. Derek laughed again.

"Wait until you're older. They you will truly understand the concept of _hard to get_."

Doris walked into the secretary's office, looking at the pleasant young woman sitting behind the desk. Dahlia looked up to see Madison's first client.

"Oh, hello miss. I'm Dahlia Prince, Dr. Long's secretary. You can head right on in. she's expecting you." Doris smiled and nodded her head. She walked into the office feebly. She was so nervous. She saw Madison over by her bookcase looking at her collection. Doris cleared her throat causing Madison to look over.

"Oh… Hi Mrs.Vinyard. Are you feeling well this morning?" she said politely. Doris embraced her respectfulness.

"Yes… well, I'm not sure." Madison felt a little alarmed.

"Well, why don't you sit down and have a chat with me." she said, showing Doris the long chair-like sofa. Doris sat down politely and said, " Well my son Derek told me to say to you that uh… you don't have to worry about my family's _sanity_; he's moving out tonight."

Madison felt a pang of excitement in her heart. She was turned on to the fact that Derek was a very tough, masculine guy. That was one of her downfalls; brawny,good-looking men. Although she felt remorse for what she had said, Derek seemed like the type of man who could take it. She tried to play it off as if she didn't know what he was talking about.

"Oh?... well…. Tell him…. Uh… never mind. So you're not feeling well?" Doris looked confused. _What is going on with my doctor and my son?_, Doris thought to herself.

"Well… no I am not feeling well because I am worried about Derek."

"Oh?"

"Yes."

"Why? What is going on with him?"

"Well, he said he was moving out tonight. I have this awful feeling that something terrible is going to happen."

"Let me ask you something Mrs. Vinyard," Madison spoke astutely, "Are you afraid if Derek gets in trouble?" Doris nodded.

"Well, I just want to tell you this. How ever serious the matter at hand may be, it will be good if Derek gets punished for it. It will help him see how his views are wrong." Doris looked off into the distance for a moment.

"I suppose that makes a lot of sense." she said, not quite knowing how to respond to that. Madison sat down at her rolling chair.

"Mrs. Vinyard, where do you think all this racism began?" Doris thought for a moment.

"I would say at his father's death but that isn't entirely true. When Derek was still in High School, Dennis, uh… my husband would talk to Derek about 'issues' in the country. But lord knows my husband wasn't racist." Madison tried to convince herself that Doris' husband wasn't racist but even one negative comment about another culture is always perceived as racism.

"Dr. Long-"

"Madison."

"Oh…uh… Madison, can I ask you a question?" Doris said shyly. Madison nodded. Doris took in a deep breath, "Do you have any children?" Madison wasn't quite sure where she was going with this.

"No. I'm not married either." Doris nodded.

"Oh," she spoke softly, "Do me a favor? Put you self in the shoes of a mother. Now, when your son has become exactly like mine, What would you do?" Doris said, not sounding rude but rather in a way of asking for advice. Madison thought of her request. What would life be like if she had a son like Derek Vinyard? The tears, the pain, the loss of hope.

"I… I don't know. But I can help_ you_, Doris." Doris smiled.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to put you on the spot." she excused herself.

"Oh don't you worry about it. Did you know that people naturally test people, even if they're just an acquaintance? Sub-consciously, I mean. We always ask questions to see if this might be a good person worth knowing."

"Is that true?"

"Well, it is proven but I believe it to be true. Constantly testing the will of another man is common. Whether we realize we are doing it or not is the real mystery. I mean think about it, when did you last ask a question knowing that the person wouldn't answer. You see, we all wait for the right answer. It's a test."

"Oh, that's interesting." Madison realized that Doris wanted to get back on track.

"So, Doris, you're afraid of what will happen to Derek when he moves out. Is that correct?"

Doris stopped for a second and thought of her response.

"No. I am afraid of what Derek will _do_ when he moves out."

"Why? What do you think will happen?"

"I'm not sure really. But I can feel it coming."

"Like women's intuition?" Madison asked truly curios of what Doris was trying to get at.

"Yes. I am almost certain that Derek will do something horrible."

"You know Mrs. Vinyard, maybe is shouldn't b just you that I council. Perhaps your whole family might want to come in for an appointment maybe one day a week or so."

"Oh no. Derek would never agree to that and if Derek doesn't agree then Danny won't either." Doris said looking truly scared if she were to even suggest therapy to Derek. Madison sighed.

"Very Well… Doris, can I call you that? Doris?" Doris nodded.

"Doris, I need you to listen to me. And I know this won't be easy to listen to but You are _not_ in control of your son's actions anymore."

"He's just a boy."

"Doris… he grew up far too fast because of your husband's tragic death. Now he is subject to any type of violence. It just so happens that he feel violent toward black people. You cannot control it. But eventually something will happen to make him change. I want you to try something for me… rather than bare the burden of what your son does, he was a big enough man to get himself into this and he will be a big enough man to get out of this if he wishes to do so. Do you understand?" Doris was watery-eyed and look truly petrified at the thought of letting go of her son.

"Yes… yes I do." Madison smiled politely.

"You are such a strong woman…. I have so much admiration for you." Madison said feeling like she had done some good for the world, "I'm sorry but our time is up…. I'll see you next time?" Doris nodded.

"I would like that a lot."


	5. Chapter 5

Disclaimer: I do not own Stacey, Derek, Daniel, Davina, or Doris Vinyard. But I do own Dahlia Prince and Madison Long.

Madison strummed her fingers on her desk waiting for Doris to show up. It was only her second appointment and already she was tardy. Madison thought of possible scenarios of why Doris could be forty-five minutes late. One was the thought of Derek practically strangling Davina again but that couldn't be right because Derek moved out last night. Madison laid her head down on her desk and thought of Derek. Even his mug shot was gorgeous. No matter how irrational and unprofessional she was about Derek, she would never mention it to Doris. It would only result in a sticky situation. _What am I talking about?_ Madison asked herself. _He's a damn racist. How can you be turned on by that? _Madison sighed. She couldn't deny the fact that Derek was very appealing. Aside from his beliefs, he was a very rigid man. Madison liked guys like that.

"Ah….. you're fuckin' loosin' it Maddi." She told herself. No one ever called her Maddi. It sounded too childish for her career. The only time she was called Maddi was when she talked to herself. BUZZ! Madison shot her head up and realized it was Dahlia buzzing in to tell her something.

"Dahlia… what did I say about freaking me out like that?" Madison chuckled. Dahlia wasn't laughing.

"Dahlia?"

"Madison… there is a call on line one for you…"

"Who is it?" Madison asked, scared of her answer.

"It's Doris Vinyard. Trust me, you want to take this call."

"Thanks Dahlia." Madison gulped. She picked up her phone and placed her finger on the line one button begging for something to happen that would distract her from pressing it. The line came on the phone and Madison could hear indistinct voices in the background.

"Mrs. Vinyard?"

"Yes, Dr. Long. I have some awful news." Someone began to cry. Madison tightly gripped the phone.

"What is it, Doris?"

"Derek was arrested last night…" Doris' voice faded. Madison felt a pang of surprise.

"What did he do?"

"He… he… he killed someone last night…" Madison felt her palms sweat.

"Who did he kill?"

"He killed some gang members I don't know… they were trying to steal his car…" Doris went on to tell the sad story. Madison saw flashes of it in her mind.

"_Bite the curb! Now say goodnight!" Derek's foot slamming into the man's skull, feeling the crack beneath him. Blood spurting on the cement. It was a horror show. And worst of all… Danny had seen it all happen. _

"Oh…my…" Madison was speechless.

"Well when is his court hearing?" she asked wondering if she should show up.

"Oh I don't know… perhaps this week. Maybe not. I know that it is the police's number one priority right now." Doris said sniffling.

"I understand if you don't want my services anymore, Doris. I feel that I have failed you."

"Dr. Long… I-" Madison cut her off.

"Goodbye Mrs. Vinyard and good luck." She said hanging up the phone. Madison stared at her wall and thought about what she had done. If she hadn't of been preaching and diagnosing _Doris'_ problems then maybe she could have prevented this one from happening. Maybe if she hadn't of mouthed off to Derek, perhaps he would have given therapy another chance. Madison hung her head below her shoulders and let one single tear stream from her eyes, falling on her grey skirt. What had she done?


	6. Chapter 6

Disclaimer: I do not own Doris, Derek, or Daniel Vinyard. But I do own Madison Long and Dahlia Prince.

Madison walked in to work the next day like a walking disaster. Her eyes were painted with big bags and her hair just laid flat on her shoulders, no volume. She wasn't wearing any make-up either. Dahlia was startled by Madison's appearance.

"Madison? You okay?" she asked endearingly. Madison looked her, with a sadness lingering in her pupils.

"Uh… yeah… didn't get much sleep. Just rolled around for eight hours." Madison replied drowsily. Dahlia shook her head.

"You were worrying about Doris and her family last night weren't you?" Madison looked away, trying to deny the guilt she felt for not being any help to Doris. Dahlia sighed.

"Madison… you can't guilt yourself about this…you did nothing wrong or insufficient. Who was the one who withdrew, Doris or you?" Madison thought hard. She was the one who gave up on Doris.

"I said that I was sorry that my service couldn't help her." Madison sugar-coated her disengagement from Doris. Dahlia shook her head.

"You are telling me that _Dr. Madison long gave up on a patient_. What is wrong with you Madison? Do yourself a favor and save some of the grieving and give Doris a call and schedule another appointment. You let her down when you let her go." Dahlia spoke with such acumen. Madison sulked a bit, knowing how awkward it would be having to call up the patient she let go.

"I don't know if I can help her, Dahlia. She's got problems far worse than any patient I've treated before."

"It doesn't hurt to try. I'll ring her up in your office." Madison sighed and walked into her office feeling like a child that was just sent to her room. She heard the ringing on her speakerphone and knew that Dahlia was going to make sure that Madison did the right thing and asked for Doris to come back.

"Hello?" the phone said. Madison paused.

"Hello?" Madison shook her head.

"Yes, Mrs. Vinyard?" Madison asked politely.

"Yes?"

"Hi, it's Doctor Long."

"Oh Doctor, how are you?!" Doris sounded ecstatic to be hearing from her.

"I am well, how are you holding up?"

"Oh, you know… barely at all."

"Ah, I see, well I called to let you know that I was wondering when you wanted to schedule the next appointment."

"Are you saying, you'll still help?"

"Yes."

" Thank God. Well, my next appointment… hmmm… let's see… I have court with Derek this week so it'll have to be next week. Is that alright?"

"Mhm, that's fine. I'll be seeing you." Madison said feeling quite better after Doris' pleasant response.

"Yes. Oh and Doctor…"

"Yes Doris?"

"Thanks for everything." Madison smiled.

"You're welcome." Doris hung up the phone shyly and Madison returned to her normal self. Always full of reason and always prepared. But it was about to be squashed.


	7. Chapter 7

Disclaimer: I do not own Doris Vinyard

Disclaimer: I do not own Doris Vinyard or Dr. Sweeney. But I do own Madison Long. There is a reference to Betty Botter.

Madison tapped her finger on her desk, looking at the notes written on her legal notepad. _Patient suffers from suppressed memories_, she read. Her writing scratchy and bare. It was almost comforting to know that Madison had never been diagnosed as she would to other people. Being put under all that judgment. If she were ever pressured like that, eventually, she would burst. Like a pipe, all those fluids rushing through, building against the walls, and ultimately, a crack would form. Madison leaned back in her chair. She heaved a large breath and began to recite "Betty Botter". Her phone beeped.

"Dr. Long?"

"Yes, Dahlia?"

"A Mrs. Vinyard here to see you."

"Great, send her in."

Madison sighed and felt her nerve twitch. This patient was so much different to her than any other she had previously treated. _Betty Botter had some butter. "But," she said, "This butter's bitter. I f I bake this bitter butter, it will make my batter bitter."_ Madison placed her notepad in her top right drawer and reached for a different one, Doris Vinyard written on the top. She traced her fingers along the bar pages and wondered when and if they were ever going to fill up with notes of repressed memories and ongoing violence.

The door pushed open and Madison looked up to see a very pleasant Doris standing in the doorway.

"Why, hello Mrs. Vinyard. How are you?" Doris made her way to the comfortable lounge chair in front of Madison's desk.

"I'm very well. But I have something on my mind." Madison felt her heart thud against the internal cavern in her chest.

"What is that, Doris?"

"Would you please act as Derek's psychiatrist for the duration of his sentence?" Madison felt her thigh muscles twinge.

"You've gotten the verdict already?" Madison asked, hoping that her nervousness wasn't evident in her facial expression.

"Oh, no. But…logically, Derek will get a sentence. What he did was…. Well you get the point. Is that a yes or a no?"

"Oh, well, uh… are you sure he is willing to subject himself to this kind of treatment?" Madison said remembering her encounter with Derek, him worried that she would fuck with his mother's mind. Doris looked skeptical.

"Uh, well, I'm not so sure but you're very easy to talk to. I think he will come around."

"Yeah, just as soon as Christmas comes in July." Madison muttered.

"What was that?"

"Oh, I said, just as soon as I get my work done…" Doris looked at Madison with curiosity.

"That's a no, isn't it?" The look in her eyes was so pleading. Madison had no choice but to acquiesce.

"No, I'll do it. I just need to know when and where." Doris' face immediately brightened.

"Oh thank you Doctor! Now, shall we start the session?" Madison laughed at Doris' eagerness.

"Yes, Mrs. Vinyard. Anytime you're ready." Madison smiled sweetly.

"You know Doctor, you're so pretty. I'm surprised you didn't have Derek or Danny making a fuss over you." Doris said thinking of the girls they dated now. All of them rude. Madison felt a little shock. She didn't exactly know how to reply.

"Oh my. Well thank you. I don't hear that often."

"Sorry if that seemed a little strange, it's just, you reminded me of this really pretty girl Derek dated in High School. She was smart, ambitious, everything Derek needed in a girl. But then his father… passed and he turned thee on the cheek. Sorry, I know it seems off topic but, you're smile…. It just reminded me of the way Derek and Danny used to be."

"What were they like, Doris?"

"They were smart and polite. They would never get mixed up in all this _business_." Doris looked like she was reminiscing.

"What was Derek like?" Doris smiled as Madison asked the question.

"He was very smart. In mostly honor classes. He had a passion for English. He'd always come home, excited to tell me about what he learned from Dr. Sweeney. God I miss him."

"Dr. Sweeney?"

"No, Derek. I wish he'd come back." Madison looked down at her notepad. She hadn't the stomach to take notes on this. Doris was different than a textbook diagnosis.

"Well, he'll be back after his sentence is served." Madison tried to lift the mood. Doris shook her head.

"No, I mean the old Derek. I miss him and I want him to come home."


	8. Chapter 8

Disclaimer: I do not own Derek, Daniel, Alice, Davina, or Doris Vinyard, and Dr

Disclaimer: I do not own Derek, Daniel, Alice, Davina, or Doris Vinyard, and Dr. Sweeney, Stacey. This is before Doris had returned to see Dr. Long.

Derek felt the cold metal press hard against his wrists. The gravel hurt his knees and made them feel raw. The cold night air settled in around him. Cops from any angle were shouting back n' forth. But Derek smiled. Daniel had collapsed on the front lawn, his throat sore from screaming. Derek looked at his little brother and nodded slightly. Danny didn't know what to think. The cops were lifting him up now and pushing him toward the cruiser. Doris was inside, cradling Alice, Davina next to her, hand placed on her mother's shoulder. Stacey watched from the blinds of the shade as the policemen edged Derek toward the car. An ambulance had arrived at the seen and spotted the dead body. His mouth ripped open and the back of his head was caved in a bloody pool. Blood spatter was everywhere on the sidewalk.

Derek felt a sense of pride and knew that he would be a legend. Everyone would speak his name. A voice in the back of his mind told him it was wrong. What he did was wrong. Generating hate, discriminative nature, and taking a human life. He argued with himself. _He was stealing my father's truck. He had a gun. He could've killed us. What would be the moral thing to do? You could've called the police. You could've reported the truck stolen. You didn't have the right to kill that man. You KILLED that man._ Derek felt a nervousness grow inside his gut and his heart sunk. The cruiser's lights went off and it sped toward the station. _What have I done? What have I DONE? What's going to happen to me? _


	9. Chapter 9

Disclaimer: I do not own Derek Vinyard, Daniel , Doris, Davina Dr. Sweeney. But I do own Madison Long. 

--

It had been nearly a week since Derek's verdict and Madison was already stressing out. Between Daniel's hard decision to testify or not and Davina's incurable hatred for her brother, Madison found little time to reflect on what Doris was feeling. 

Daniel had come to Madison three days before Derek's case when to trial and explained to her the indecision of whether or not to testify. "What does the lawyer suggest?" I had asked Daniel and have told me that the lawyer said not to testify because Derek's incarceration would much worse than three or so years. Madison was curious, "So what's the decision to be made? Don't you want you're brother to be free sooner?" Daniel had sat there and said something that burned inside his throat, "Dr. Long, to tell you the truth, I don't know if I ever want to see my brother again. He…. _killed_ somebody. I don't know how someone can swallow that. I'm almost scared of his return if he receives only three years." Madison sat there, dumbfounded. Daniel needed no help expressing his thoughts or logic. Madison had said the only thing she could, "He loves a lot Danny. He loves you're family so much and wants to protect them so much that he would…..do something as horrible as this." By the beginning of the trial, Danny had decided against testifying. 

The Davina had come in after Derek's verdict had been handed down. She had a smile on her face that Madison saw right through. "I think Derek deserves life. But he's gone for a little while so I'll just enjoy it while it lasts." she said. Madison leaned forward from her desk. "Davina, look at me," Davina's eyes sulked and looked at Madison, "You love you're brother. And I don't want to sound cruel but I can see right through you and I know deep down inside, you are worried about Derek and you can't figure out why." Davina had cried and talked over all her fears and worries. Madison was still helping her through the pain.

So, almost a week after the sentence was carried out and Madison was expecting Doris soon. She sat at her desk scribbling on her notepad thinking if she was ever going to take notes on Doris' family. In a way, Madison felt apart of them. She felt like she belonged there. She heard her cell phone go off in her purse and looked at the tote bag strangely for a minute. Everyone who talked to Madison knew to call her office so who would be calling her personal cell phone number. Madison reached in the bag and pulled the vibrating telephone out of her bag. It read "unknown caller". Madison hit answer and held the phone to her ear. She could hear women in the background and typing. 

"Hello?" Madison asked rather than greeted. A deep raspy voice of a man came over the receiver. 

"UH, hello is this Dr. Madison Long?" he asked. 

"Yes it is and who might this be?"

"Oh, yes, I am Dr. Sweeney, the principal over at the local high school." Madison remembered Doris mentioning him in her previous sessions. 

"Oh. Can I help you?"

"Yes, uh… Doctor, I am calling in regards to Derek Vinyard."

"What about Derek Vinyard?" 

"Well Doctor, I called to see if you were really treating his family." 

"Is this some kind of tabloid phone call or something? I refused to talk to any of the damn local papers-"

"Doctor, I am not looking for a story. I am looking for help. Now can I have you attention or not." Dr. Sweeney meant business. Madison had felt a hint of embarrassment from her previous attitude. 

"I'm listening." she replied trying not to give Sweeney the upper hand. 

"Well, I assume you heard about Derek being in my honors English course,"

"Mmhmmm." 

"You see, I really feel that Derek became lost after his father's death and tried to discuss with him how race was not relative to why his father died. I had almost gotten through to him until he got wrapped up in this whole _Mein Kempf nonsense. After that, he never bothered to see me anymore but now I am his younger brother's principal and I see the same thing happening to Daniel-"_

"_Dr. Sweeney, what do you need my help with?"_

"_Right, well, I was wondering if you would visit Derek as well as me and…. You know." Madison remembered her promise to Doris about going to see Derek in jail. She had forgotten about it within weeks. _

"_I had already discussed this with Doris Vinyard."_

"_Oh. And?"_

"_I had agreed to visit him and council him but I had my doubts. One person cannot change another, but…. Just one more may make a difference. I will help you. We just need to work out a schedule." Dr. Sweeney sounded ecstatic._

"_Really? That's wonderful. You know, I read your article in Times magazine. You're rather brilliant, Doctor. Your point of view was just what I need to whip young adults in shape. Especially ones like Derek who are lost in their own minds." Madison could hear her speaker phone in her office beeping._

"_Oh, why thank you. Well I will take you're number down and give you a call after this appointment. All right?" _

"_Oh, yes. Well talk to you in a little." _

"_Yup. Buh-bye." Madison quickly shut off her cell phone and hit the speaker phone button. _

"_Madison?"_

"_Yes Dahlia?" _

"_A Mrs. Doris Vinyard here to see you."_

"_Oh, send her in." Madison smiled and didn't know why at the time but almost felt excited about telling Doris of how she was going to teat her son with Dr. Sweeney. _


	10. Chapter 10

Disclaimer: I do not own Derek Vinyard

Disclaimer: I do not own Derek Vinyard. I do own Madison Long.

Madison sat in the front seat of her car, panicking on the phone with Dr. Sweeney. She argued with him about stepping into the state prison.

"Look Doctor, I don't see why I have to do this alone. Why can't you come here with me?" she asked sounding much like a five year old.

"Because Madison. He will refuse to see me right now… this needs to happen slowly so that he can adjust. You and I both know this all too well," Sweeny said. Madison nodded her head.

"Yes. I do know," she replied softly. Dr. Sweeney sighed.

"Look just breathe for a few minutes before you step in there, okay?" he advised. Madison had to admit that Sweeney was a brilliant man.

"Alright. All I have to do is sit there and listen. There will be glass between us right?" she asked nervously.

"Um… about that… you are required to go in a private room with him, "he stated knowing that Madison would continue to panic even more.

"What?!" she shouted over the phone.

"You are considered a worker for the state; therefore, you must act like a stat psychiatrist. They are required to talk with their clients personally. But, if anything goes wrong then he will be removed from the room and he will only see you through plate glass," Sweeney explained trying to bring Madison back down.

"Oh, great… now I might get shanked on the job," she said, Sweeney trying to hold back his laughter a little bit.

"It's okay Madison. Now I have to go but call me as soon as you get out okay? And breathe!" he warned. Madison nodded.

"Bye," she spoke softly.

"Goodbye Madison."

Madison closed her cell phone and heaved it onto the floor of her car. She gripped the stirring wheel tightly with both hands and breathed loudly through her nose and out her mouth. She was about to go into the snake pit. She got out her car and immediately felt the weakness in her knees start up. She walked over to the prison, sweat forming on her brow. She did not want to walk inside.

After going through the insane amount of security precautions, she was shown to the room and was told to wait fro Derek. She was hesitant about seeing Derek. Months had passed from her last interaction with Derek. And the bad thing was the fact that is wasn't a pleasant one. But she couldn't help but have those few sexual feelings linger around inside of her. He was everything she liked in a man (except his racism beliefs). Her body nearly shuddered when she thought about his body under that thin whit t-shirt she had seen him in once.

The door jerked opened, causing Madison to jump. Two security men dragged in Derek Vinyard. He looked around the room and quickly made eye contact with Madison. He didn't look very happy to see her. _Wow_, Derek though to himself when he saw her. She looked even better in that black pencil skirt and the white button down top. He couldn't help but sneak a peek at her cleavage hiding in the blouse. Madison bent over and shuffled through her leather bag. The officers went through the routine and explained the rules to Derek. He regrettably agreed. After about ten minutes or so, it was just Madison and Derek alone. Madison smiled at Derek, who seemed to be unamused, and sat down with a legal notepad and a pen.

"Hello Derek," she greeted him politely.

"Look, let's cut the bullshit and tell me why the fuck you're here to see me," he said bluntly. Madison shrugged her shoulders. Why should she play nice anymore?

"Because I was hired by the state to evaluate your stupid ass so sit tight and we'll all leave happy, got it?" she said angrily. Derek's eyes widened. He could feel his heart beat fastening. He laughed softly.

"Are you allowed to talk to a patient like that… _doctor_?" Derek asked condescendingly.

"If a patient acts the way you do," she lied. Derek had been silenced. Madison looked through her bag one more time form another notepad.

"So what could you possibly want to talk about? My _condition_," Derek piped up again. Madison began to take notes.

"Well, why don't we start with why your in this shithole," she said looking straight into Derek's eyes. There was a fire behind his glare.

"What the fuck is there to talk about? The sentence was passed down and now I'm fuckin' serving it," he said, raising his voice.

"Are you telling me that you don't think you did anything wrong?" Derek shook his head.

"What does it fucking sound like," he retorted. He was refusing to cooperate.

"Look, you need to realize that you raising your voice at me and swearing every five seconds is not going to make me stop asking you questions. So shut your trap or I will make you," she threatened. Derek had never been addressed like that before. Stacy had never disagreed with anything that came out of Derek's mouth and she rarely had the attitude that Madison had. It turned him on.

"Are you personally going to jump over this table and make me clam up?" he asked.

"I know you are testing my patience Derek. The problem is… you still don't realize that I have all the patience in the world," Madison reasoned with him. Derek leaned back in his metal chair and the cold steel press against his thin T-shirt.

"Aren't you even curious about your family? Why won't you let them come visit you?" she asked concerned. Derek didn't say anything. Madison realized that Derek wasn't the type of person who would just open to a stranger. A buzzer went off in the room letting the two know that time was up. She was bound to get more time the more she came. Two officers walked in and started to cuff Derek up.

"Well, it looks like our time is up, Mr. Vinyard," Madison said. Derek looked up at her trying to comprehend the fact that she had just called him "Mister" Vinyard.

"I'll see you real soon," she said packing up her belongings. Derek looked at her one last time before he was pushed out.

Later on that night, while he was sitting alone in his cell, he couldn't help but think about his family and how they all were enjoying Dr. Long's presence.


	11. Chapter 11

Disclaimer: I do not own Daniel Vinyard, Cam, or Derek Vinyard. But I do own Victoria. (Harsh language, Sorry.)

Daniel stared at the blank piece of paper that sat in front of him on the table, mocking him. _Will Derek even read it_, Danny questioned. Writing a letter to Derek was tough and if it went unanswered that only mean Derek didn't want to hear from his little brother. No body was home at the Vinyard home. Danny sat at the kitchen table still eyeing that piece of paper. He strummed his fingers against the smoke stained table. What could he tell Derek about? Nothing. He wouldn't be interested in Danny's new girlfriend Victoria or the fact that Danny had made the honor roll in school. All Derek would want to hear about was what Cam has been telling him. It was useless. Derek would never be proud of Danny. Never. Not unless Danny killed a nigger too.

The phone rang loudly, making Danny jump. He answered it quickly.

"Hello?" he asked softly. A girl's voice came over.

"Hi, is Danny there?" she asked. Danny looked had suspicions it was Victoria.

"Who's callin'?" he said smiling as if something evil came to him.

"It's Victoria."

"Hey babe!" he exclaimed. His cheeks burned a bright red. He couldn't help it. Victoria rendered him powerless.

"Hi… I missed you. Figured I would call," she said happily. Danny thought about the night before. Him and Victoria sat outside in his backyard and looked up at the stars. He rolled over and finally made his move. _She's a great kisser_, he thought devilishly.

"Well I miss you too… especially after last night," he stated trying not to sound too corny. Victoria giggled.

"Must you talk about it so fondly?" she asked. He shrugged his shoulders.

"Why not? If I could kiss the way you do I'd be fond of it." She sighed thoughtfully. He looked around his house and thought about having sex with Victoria on the couch somewhere. Little Danny was growing up.

"Hey… no one's home at my house… you wanna come over?" he asked trying to conceal his horniness.

"Are you busy or anything?" she asked making sure she was completely allowed over. Danny looked back down at thst paper. _Derek can wait_, he thought.


	12. Chapter 12

Disclaimer: I do not own Derek Vinyard, Doris Vinyard, Davina Vinyard or Daniel Vinyard. But I do own Madison Long.

Madison sat at the cold steel table waiting for Derek to be showed in. Her heart was beating a thousand miles a minute and her thighs were shaking something fierce. _What is going on with me?_, she asked to herself. She remembered Doris telling her about all the things to tell Derek. Danny' new girlfriend, Doris's new job, and Davina's excellent grades. But Madison did not think Derek would want to hear any of that. He would say "Hearing about that shit will only make it harder."

The door swung open revealing two guards holding Derek. Madison gulped as she noticed Derek's sweat made his thin white t-shirt transparent. It seemed to take an hour to unlock him and explain the "rules" to him about her visit. Finally the two were left in the room only their heartbeats speaking.

"Hi Derek…" Madison said trying to keep her composure. Derek sat there in silence. Madison sighed in annoyance.

"Look you can keep your mouth shut but I'm still going to keep coming here until you open up to me," Madison warned. He still said nothing. She shrugged her shoulders and leaned forward out of her seat to find her tape recorder in her bag.

"Will you answer a few questions for me…_doctor_?" Derek finally spoke. The low pitch of his voice made Madison shiver in pleasure. But she kept it under control. She sat up and stared into his only to find a genuine sincerity in them

"Yes… anything you want…" she answered. She thought if it might make progress.

"Do you think it is possible for someone to find it hard to warm up to a person that they don't know anything about?" Derek asked harshly. Madison looked down at the table.

"Yes," she replied. He nodded his head.

"Wouldn't you be the least worried about the opinion they might form about you without any real knowledge of _who_ exactly you were?" he asked even more sharply. Madison leaned over the table coming closer to Derek's face. Derek looked down at her cleavage and back into her eyes. He squirmed in his seat a bit.

"I thought my opinion meant shit to you, Derek." She said. He looked smirked at her and she placed herself against the back of the seat again.

"You were waiting to say that remark weren't ya?" he asked. Madison grinned and nodded her head. She could tell he was coming around.

"Look… I don't know how you feel but I do know that I want to get to know _you_," she said, "I'll never make an unfair assessment Derek." He nodded his head.

"Well… then I would like to get to know you too… Madison," Derek said. She felt the flesh move in between her thighs as he said her name. Normally she would have asked to be addressed as Doctor but she would make an exception for the brutally handsome man sitting across from her.

"Well… what do you want to know?" she asked. Derek thought for a moment.

"You married?"

"I thought we discussed this…no."

"You seeing anyone?" His eyes seemed to stare at her from the inside out.

"No," she said catching a few satisfying glances at his transparent shirt.

"Any kids?"

"Nope."

"Why not? Don't like 'em?"

"Too much of a hassle at this point in time."

"Oh," Derek seemed to wander off for a moment, "What do dislike most about yourself?"

"That's a hard question, Derek."

"Is it?" he retaliated. He was truly engrossed in the conversation.

"I just… I am not quite fond of…just the way I look," Madison struggled to say. Derek looked at her from head to toe.

"What?" he asked confusedly.

"I don't like the way I look…" she faded. Derek shook his head.

"Tell me you're fucking kidding." Madison turned red.

"Well what don't you like about yourself?" she retorted. Derek laughed.

"I thought that you psychiatrists were supposed to believe in 'good' self esteem and all that bullshit," he said thinking that Madison was crazy. _Does she own a mirror?_, he asked himself.

"Well… I guess I lack in that area. It's not my expertise. Now, are there any other questions?"

"Yeah, what don't you like about yourself… like what specifically don't you like about the way you look?" Madison could feel a tension building in her shoulders.

"Let's change the subject," she tried brushing him off.

"No. I want to keep talking about this topic. What is it about your 'looks' that you don't like about yourself?" he pushed further.

"Look, I don't feel comfortable answering that question."

"Well then I won't feel comfortable answering any of yours," he threatened.

"Derek, I will not be bullied into answering the que-"

"I'm not bullying you. I just want to know the fucking answer to the question," Derek interrupted.

"No, I won't answer the que-"

"C'mon. What's so fucking hard about it. All you have to do is name all the thing you don't li-"

"I HATE ALL OF IT DEREK!" she yelled. Derek was silent once again. Madison felt tears welling up in her eyes. Derek looked at her and noticed that she was on the verge of tears.

"Oh, look I didn't mean to-"

"Fuck you. I'll see you next week," Madison interjected. She picked up her bag and began to walk out of the room.

"Madison I-" he was cut off by the slamming door.


	13. Chapter 13

Disclaimer: I do not own Daniel, Derek, Doris, Alice, or Davina Vinyard (and Stacy). But I do own Madison Long, Dahlia Prince, and Victoria.

Derek sat in his cell not saying a word to any one else. He had kept his opinions to himself upon his arrival. He knew he was alone. And he knew he couldn't protect himself. He closed his eyes and leaned his head against the cold concrete of the wall. He thought about Danny. He hadn't heard anything from home and secretly he wanted to but he knew it would make it too hard for him. He worried for Doris and Davina. He told himself that when he got out he would see to it that Davina would focus on school and he would help Doris out more. But he still wouldn't forget the clan. The clan was like a second family to him.

But then Madison crept into his mind. He remembered how sweetly she smelled and how absurd she had sounded when revealing her low self esteem. A tiny part of him felt guilty for having ripping that out of her. He should have quit while he was ahead. But he was dumbfounded when she had said it. How could a woman like Madison ever look at herself as anything but beautiful? He quickly hardened and tried not to feel bad. He kept reminding himself that she was his shrink and she was only going to try and cross examine him. He remembered seeing her in the diner. How stunning. He couldn't even remember Stacy's face anymore. He was startled by the loud slam on his iron gate door. His eyes shot open to a guard standing with his night stick in hand.

"Vinyard, your Doctor is here to see you. You remember the drill?" the guard spoke harshly. Derek nodded.

"Is that a yes or a no?" the guard shouted. Derek rolled his eyes and bit his tongue from saying anything.

"Yes," he spoke softly.

"Yes sir, you understand me?" the guard shouted again.

"Yes sir."

:Alright then, stand up and face the wall. I'll come in and cuff you and don't fuck with me. You hear me?" the guard ordered sternly. Derek complied and closed his eyes once more. He could only picture Madison. And his heart thudded like a young boys on Christmas morning.


	14. Chapter 14

Disclaimer: I do not own Derek, Doris, Daniel, Davina, and Alice Vinyard. But I do own Madison Long.

Madison was convinced she wouldn't shout at Derek again. She wouldn't give him the benefit of upsetting her again. She sat at the steel table in the private room. Both guards completely silent in the room by the door. Madison prepared her self for this meeting. A week had gone by since their first session. She couldn't get Derek from her mind. She felt foolish for having admitted her confidence issues. They had ailed her since childhood. She had surprised even herself when she actually said it aloud. She felt so very unprofessional. She was there to talk about him and his family. And it ended up to be about her. She refused to let him have the upper hand. One of the guards radio went off informing him that they would be there shortly. The guard gave one glance to Madison and she nodded, understanding. She felt her heart slam against her ribs and her stomach turned inside. She gulped and kept telling herself that she was a professional and that she was going to keep it strictly business. Derek Vinyard would not get the better of her ever again. There was a loud knock on the door and Madison gripped the table. The guards let him and all Madison could do was stare. He had been keeping in shape. Derek's eyes wandered over to Madison's and the two looked away after about a minute. Madison's cheeks burned a bright red. She reached in her leather messenger bag and grabbed her legal notepad and tape recorder. She snuck a few deep breaths as she listened to the guard's instructions.

"All, you'll have an hour and thirty minutes," they said while they uncuffed Derek, "Good luck, Doctor," the guard remarked to Madison. She nodded and smiled politely as they proceeded out. Derek sat down on the cold seat and looked at her curiously. Madison placed everything on the table and finally noticed Derek long stare.

"What is it?" she said nervously. He squinted his eyes slightly and tried to keep his smile composed.

"You cut your hair. It's not black anymore either," he simply stated, trying not to show his interest or his liking for it. Madison instinctively reached her hand up to her hair. She had cut it at least an inch past her shoulder and finally returned it to it's natural color of a natural warm dark brown. She had changed her hair in an attempt to look older, more mature. Madison's eyes fluttered and she cleared her throat.

"You refused to receive any mail from our mother. Why is that?" she quickly changed the subject. Derek laughed softly at this. He hadn't laughed in a long time.

"Why did you cut it?" Derek persisted. Madison picked up her pencil and began to scribble her illegible notes.

"Patient refuses to cooperate with answering questions," she said aloud in an attempt to warn him. He laughed once again.

"It looks nice," he retorted. Madison felt her cheeks burn again and she held her hands together.

"Look, Derek, I am not here to talk about me. I want the focus to be on you and your recovery," Madison said shakily. Derek felt a small amount of anger swell up. He hated this feeling of being examined. Like he needed to be diagnosed and cured as if racism was a disease.

"Recover? Tell me _Doctor_… what exactly is my illness?" he paused and waited for a response. Madison just scribbled more notes, furthering his anger more.

"This isn't a sickness. This isn't a problem. I believe what I believe and what I did was just standing up for my rights," he raised his voice gently.

"You honestly believe that what you did was justified? Derek, you didn't just assault a man. You killed him," Madison defended, trying not to get too involved in the conversation. She couldn't help it.

"If I had handled it the way any one else would have then nothing would have been done and those apes would just be driving around in my father's truck. It does no good, Doctor. He cops just look away but the second we do what's right and handle it ourselves, and then they step in. It's all bullshit. He fucking deserved it," Derek tried to convince her and himself as well. He would never confess this aloud but a part of him swelled with gilt and he couldn't stop it. Madison leaned in closer, her eyes on fire. Derek's heart skipped a beat.

"So then what made your attack in the grocery just?" she raised her voice slightly. Derek leaned back, dumbfounded. He didn't know she knew about that.

"How do you know about that?" he asked.

" I treated a patient once. He was involved. He never released a statement to the police. He ended up going to a mental health center because of it," she stated. She was getting much too involved. Derek glanced away for a minute stuck in thought. And his hidden guilt ripped at his sides.

"I'm sorry," Madison spoke softly. Derek looked at her confusedly.

"For what?"

"I didn't mean to raise my voice. I came here to see why you are accepting letters from home. I am here to talk about you," she answered, looking down at her notes. Derek rubbed his eyes.

"You don't have to apologize. I shouldn't have gotten angry. We can talk about me," he gave in. Madison looked up into his eyes, bewildered. He hated when he would cave. But something about her made him stable. Made him feel better.

"Thank you. No I would like to ask you some questions. Feel free to pass on any if you are too uncomfortable," she offered, feeling her knees shake as she stared into his blue eyes and she suddenly felt intoxicated.

"I'll try it. No promises," he smirked, trying to lighten the mood. But the guilt still rattled in his brain wishing to come out. He found comfort in her eyes and studied the different shades inside them. The dark greens, the hint of chocolate brown and a slight orange tint. They were different and hypnotizing. He shook his head softly to regain consciousness

"So, you aren't accepting mail from home. Why?" she asked, not only for her profile but for her own personal interest. Derek sighed and dug deep inside himself for the real answer.

"Well, case it makes it so much harder. It makes me wanna get out and help them. I know that they need me but there is nothing I can do while I'm in here. And my mother would just guilt me," Derek answered softly staring at the table. Madison's eyebrows furrowed together in sympathy. He clearly was the father figure in his family since his father's death and now that he was in jail, he and she both knew they were struggling to put dinner on the table.

"But they're worried about you, Derek," Madison tried to inform him. Derek shook his head.

"Just because I don't wanna read the mail doesn't mean I don't worry about them," he replied weakly. Madison gulped and felt a pressure on her heart.

"Would you wanna see any of them? It may help," she offered. He laughed without humor.

"Seeing them would be worse, wouldn't you say?" Madison felt a pang of embarrassment.

"This is true. But it might do wonders. You never know," she kept convincing him. He placed his hands on the table, twiddling with his thumbs, trying not to get lost in her eyes.

"I'm not feeling very comfortable," he stated. Madison nodded.

"All right. New subject. The guards tell me that you have been very quiet. You've been keeping to yourself. Any reason in particular?"

"Well, they way I figure. I'll be saving myself a lot of trouble and a lot of hassle if I just don't get involved with anyone," he faded. Madison understood.

The rest of the conversation went on like this. Simple answers, no details. And simple questions. Both tried not to stare too long at each other. But progress was made. Whether Derek wanted there to be any or not.


	15. Chapter 15

Disclaimer: You know who my characters are. ;-)

Madison lay in her bed sleeplessly. Every time she shut her eyes all she could see were Derek's blue eyes searing her brain. She hated the way she felt about him. He was her patient. He was a nazi! But most of all, he was everything she had ever wanted in a man. She couldn't understand it. She had had her fair share of ridiculous love affairs. But this topped them all. And besides that, she was convinced that he didn't want her in the way she longed for him.

She couldn't believe she loved this man. She loved her patient. She tirelessly thought of withdrawing from Derek Vinyard's case. But that would only leave Doris, Davina, and Alice without help. Daniel was already beyond help. He was turning into Derek's clone and no matter how many times a week Madison saw Daniel, he would never turn out any better. Madison had enough of her restless "slumber". She picked up the phone and dialed Doris's home.

"Hello?" a tired Doris answered after about three rings. Madison began to sweat.

"Hi Doris. I am sorry to call so late…" she faded.

"It's one in the morning, Madison," Doris answered a slight bit grouchy.

"I'm so sorry, Doris. But I need to tell you something important."

"I'm listening," Doris answered more alert. She was fearful of what was to come.

"I hate telling you this but there are certain circumstances that are preventing me from further treatment with Derek…" Madison said, her hands quivering as she spoke. There was long suspenseful silence on Doris' end.

"It's been six months, Madison. Please don't leave us…" Doris began crying. Madison tried to keep her eyes from watering as well.

"Right. It's been six months and still not much progress. He won't let me in. He's technically gotten worse. He's now involved with more skinheads that he incarcerated with. It won't stop," Madison said, letting tears escape now.

"Please don't give up. Please. I'll do anything. I'll go and see him. I'll do something," Doris pleaded. Madison shook her head.

"Doris, you know he won't see any of his family. A visit won't help and you know that," Madison argued. Her entire body was shaking now.

"Please Madison. You've helped us out so much and you don't even realize. I am going to see him tomorrow. I'll talk to him," Doris retorted. Madison sighed.

"Doris, I don't see how that's gonna-" Madison began to say before Doris interrupted.

"I'll go talk to him. I have to go now. I will call you tomorrow," Doris said curtly before hanging up the phone. Madison hung her head between her shoulders and knew it wouldn't make a difference to Derek. Madison didn't know what else to do but call Dr. Sweeney. She dialed his number and waited for his answer.

"Hello?" Sweeney answered.

"Hi, Dr. Sweeney, it's Madison. I have some news," she said shortly. Sweeney groaned the sleepiness out.

"Ok. I'm all ears," he responded. Madison was glad that he didn't mention the hour at which she was calling.

"I can't treat Derek anymore. I am having… uh… issues," she said vaguely.

"Madison, you're brilliant. Whether you see it or not, him confiding in you is working. It may not erase his beliefs but maybe it will eventually diffuse his rage," Sweeney consoled the crying Madison.

"I know but I can't do it for personally reasons," she tried to explain without admitting her strange and unrequited love for Derek Vinyard.

"If you're frightened, I understand. But being a professional means not giving up," Sweeney reasoned.

"Well, I mean, Doris won't let me withdraw. She's convinced he's gonna be 'cured'. So she said she going to see him tomorrow. But it's not going to do anything."

"Maybe it will. Let her go see him. Then continue treatment. Please, Madison. It will be worth it," Sweeney said to his young protégé. Madison finally abandoned her will and agreed.

"You're right, Doctor. I am so sorry to have bugged you."

"It's no bother Madison. I have not given up on Derek and Daniel yet. Get some rest and I will see you this Thursday, usual time," Sweeney responded, trying to inspire Madison.

"Yes, Sweeney. Goodnight," she said finally putting the phone back on the hook.

Madison rolled back into bed and eventually drifted off into a deep sleep. That night she dreamt of Derek Vinyard. Only he wasn't covered in white power tattoos. And his head wasn't shaven. He looked like an exceptionally handsome, average man.


	16. Chapter 16

Disclaimer: You know who my characters are!

Author's Note: I know my timing is way off in the chapter but Derek is supposed to be a year in prison already. Sorry :-/

Doris sat in front of the plate glass and waited for Derek to arrive. She was hoping the guards had kept their promise and didn't tell him who his visitor was. Her hand itched to pick up to phone and talk to her son. He was already a year in. It didn't seem like that to her. If felt like a lifetime. She was struggling and was already forced to move into the shack of house compared to her last home. But Derek hadn't written any letter back. Doris put out her cigarette and began to examine her chipping nail polish.

Three guards burst through the door, Derek right in front of them. Doris looked at her son, still startled from his entrance. Derek, who thought Madison had come to see him, was only disapproving when he had seen it was his mother. Doris couldn't help but get watery eyed. Derek sat down and debated on whether or not to pick up the phone. From the sight of his mother, he agreed and picked up the phone. Doris did the same.

"What are you doing here, Doris?" Derek asked trying to patch up the hole in his heart. He truly missed his family. He wanted to do everything he could for them.

"I wanted to talk," Doris said shakily. Derek rolled his eyes and looked down to the floor.

"Look, you know what I said. I don't wanna see anyone. It makes this too hard," he said with finality.

"So sue me. I came here to let you know how everything was going at home. And something about Madison," Doris said reaching for another cigarette. Derek felt his interest peak.

"Ok. So tell me," he said, trying to cover up his vulnerability. Doris lit her cigarette and dragged in the thick smoke easily. She welcomed it these days.

"Davina is doing great. She's getting mostly A's," Doris said, worried about elaborating.

"Good. What about Danny?" he urged. Doris flicked her ash into the ash tray and looked back up to her son.

"He holds you up so high. He's always boasting about you. He is becoming just like you," Doris answered honestly. Derek felt his guilt climb its way into his gut. He hated what he was doing but he still refused to give up his belief in the "race issue".

"Doris, did you come all this way to guilt me? He makes up his own mind. He can think for himself," Derek retorted. Doris sighed and tried to be patient. There was along moment of silence just filling up with words neither of them would say.

"What about Dr. Long?" Derek finally asked breaking the uncomfortable and awkward silence. He never called her Madison because she had never allowed him to. He wished he could call her by her name. It made it feel a little less like a professional relationship and more like his friend. His friend that he cared way too much for. Doris shook her head.

"She called a couple of nights ago saying she wanted to end treatment with you," Doris practically whispered. Derek felt a sharp pain stab in his sides. He was personally hurt that Madison no longer wanted to see him. He thought things were go swimmingly. She hadn't shown the slightest bit of reluctance when she had gone to see him. In fact, she had always seemed lighthearted when they had their usual hour and a half sessions twice a week. Some days she would answer questions he had and other days they would just sit and talk about their opinions on movies they had seen or whether the Lakers or the Knicks were better teams.

"Why?" was all he could say without sounding too crushed.

"She said there were certain underlying circumstances that were preventing her from helping you," Doris said remembering the way Madison had rephrased it the next day on the phone.

"Well I haven't done shit to her. You shouldn't have come today. You're trying to guilt while I am in here. I can't help while I am stuck in this shithole," Derek said angrily.

"You think you're the only one in here, Derek? You think we're not in here with you?" Doris yelped, slamming her delicate hand against the thick glass. Derek got up from his seat leaving the phone off the hook and stormed out for the room. Doris sat there for a few moments trying to compose herself.

Later that night Doris called Madison.

"Hello?" Madison answered nervously. Doris rubbed the side of her head trying to ease the oncoming headache.

"Hi, Madison. It's Doris," she said quietly.

"Hi Doris. So did you see Derek today?" Madison asked trying not to sound to excited to hear news about her "beloved" Derek Vinyard.

"I did. And he behaved just as you said he would," Doris hated to admit. Madison sighed and searched for some words of comfort.

"Well, he is in a very weird place in his life, Doris. Not to say that your whole family isn't but he feels guilty for not being able to help his family out. But, if it makes you feel any better, I will try one more session with Derek," Madison said in hopes that would help relieve some of Doris' strain.

"That would be absolutely wonderful," Doris breathed in relief.

"I promised you and I intend to keep that promise. No matter how bad it seems to get," Madison said, remembering the countless times before that she had tried to withdraw from Doris' case. She winced silently.

"Thank you so much Doctor. Let me know how the next session goes!"  
Doris said excitedly.

"I will. And I will also see you the usual this week. Alright?"

"Of course!"

"Ok. Have a good evening Doris," Madison concluded.

"You too. Buh-bye Doctor." Madison hung up the phone gently and sat back down on her sofa. She sat there trying to think of ways to avert her secret longing for Derek Vinyard.


	17. Chapter 17

Disclaimer: You know that I'm not the owner of the Vinyards or Sweeney. But I do own Madison !

Madison walked down the creek hallway, making sure not to make eye contact with any of the prisoners. She felt her heart beat faster as she drew closer to the room for her session with Derek since Doris' visit. But this time it felt different. Madison felt as if she were going to loose a part of herself. She tried to shake off the feeling and sat down in the familiar blank room.

"He should be in here in about five minutes. You alright?" the guard asked Madison concerned. She looked up at him and raised and eyebrow.

"Of course I am ok. Why?" she said not concealing her secret flutters and panics occurring within her mind. The guard shook his head.

"You just look worried. More so than usual," the guard tried to rephrase politely. Madison smiled pathetically.

"Ha, I'll be ok. Thank you though," she tried to dismiss him. The guard simply shrugged and closed the door behind her. Madison drew in a deep breath through her nose and counted to ten slowly. Then she released the air as if it were supposed to rid her of her nervousness as her ribs compressed into her small waist. She sat down in the cold seat and somehow wondered if the seat had gotten colder since. She prepared for her usual appointment but it felt different. Madison couldn't shake this rotten feeling from her gut. The door opened climatically revealing Madison's secret love. Derek Vinyard looked at Madison and only felt the sting of rejection. Normally upon seeing each other both would smile and pretend as if they weren't staring. But this time, Derek couldn't smile. He could only feel abandoned. Madison eyebrows furrowed in response. Once all the formalities were settled, Derek sat in his chair once again, not wanting to talk. Madison felt her body shake and she wanted to cry.

"Hello, Derek," Madison asked more than greeted. Derek tried not to look into her paralyzing eyes. He couldn't get sucked in anymore than he was.

"Doctor," he stated attempting not to pt any emotion into it. Madison's heart was beating faster and louder by the second.

"What's wrong?" Madison asked not caring whether she sounded too concerned or not.

"Nothing," he lied. Madison clenched her hands together.

"That's bullshit. Something's wrong," she retorted. Derek looked up at Madison and try to forget how he felt about her.  
"I'm just shocked to see your face around here," he said sourly.

"I have no clue what you are talking about. I am always here on Tuesday. So why don't you stop tip toeing around it and just say what you wan to say," Madison said growing angry and anxious. Derek smirked.

"I know all about it, Madison. Doris told me how you wanted out," Derek choked out. He couldn't believe how hurt he was. No woman had ever had the power to do that.

"There are certain… circumstances that are-"

"Preventing you from counseling me. I heard it. What circumstances, Madison? What is it that is causing you to abandon my family? To abandon me?" Derek interrupted, putting away all his boundaries. Madison felt her heart pitter patter when she heard the word "abandon".

"I would never abandon your family. Hell, I feel like I am already a part of it. I just can't treat you any more, Derek. You wouldn't understand," Madison said feeling her tears well up even faster now.

"What wouldn't I understand?" he asked as rejection washed over him once again.

"I can't, Derek. I can't tell you. I don't even understand it myself," Madison cried. Derek slammed his fist down on the table cause Madison to jump. He saw the fear in her face and immediately regretted doing so.

"I deserve to know," he stated. Madison stared into his eyes and he stared right back. Neither would budge. Madison felt her heart draw to him like he had a magnet. She shook her head. Derek sighed angrily.

"If you aren't gonna tell me then get the fuck out, you fuckin' nigger-lover," Derek raised his voice. Madison wiped the tears from her face.

"I don't understand you, Derek Vinyard. You never really cooperated with treatment for an entire year. But now that I wanna stop counseling you, you all the sudden feel 'abandoned'. I didn't even think it would have mattered to you. So you are just gonna push me away?" Madison defended. Derek tightened his jaw and tried not to yell anymore.

"You're just like everyone else. You never gave me a chance. Just get the fuck ot of here," he said more calmly secretly wishing Madison would stay just so he could look at her one last time.

"If I leave this room, you'll never see me again," she warned him. _Just stay! Don't give up on me Madison! Can't you see that you really matter to me! You're what has been keeping me sane_, Derek thought to himself. His head began to pound.

"It'll be best if you do disappear," he lied. Madison released a whole other set of tears and turned away, she picked up her briefcase and knocked on the door that the guards had been standing in front of. The door creaked open. Madison turned one last time and looked to Derek feeling her heart ache. Derek felt the same.

"Stop with the preaching bullshit too. It's only gonna get you hurt," Madison said solemnly.

"I'll stop when you stop dropping your patients like they were flies," Derek retorted.

"Goodbye Derek Vinyard," Madison choked out refusing to believe that she was going to deny herself the love she felt for Derek. He had tried to say goodbye but before he knew it, Madison had slammed the door shut. Derek sighed and remembered when he had first seen Madison at the diner. She had done the same thing. And Derek still felt the same way he did when it first had happened. Rejected and that he was missing something from his life.


	18. Chapter 18

Disclaimer: I do not own any Vinyards or Sweeney! I do own Madison!

Madison still continued treating Doris and Davina. But Daniel wouldn't have any part in it. She couldn't stop him from listening to the propaganda. And when Madison has caught sight of his new "D.O.C." tattoo, she feared the worst. But most of all, Madison could not put herself up to treating Daniel because she reminded her too much of Derek. Her heart burned every time his name was spoken. Davina and Doris had noticed her wince at his name and had their own suspicions. It had been another three months, and Madison still had not seen Derek. She would receive phone calls from Bob Sweeney every once in a while to check in. He also had a friend that worked at the prison and would keep tabs on Derek for Madison. And secretly, she wanted to hear how he was doing. Apparently Derek's recent acquaintances were starting to get frustrated with his preaching which, shockingly, didn't surprise her at all. But the fact that they were a violent gang and had jumped prisoners before would only mean danger for Derek if he wouldn't keep quiet. That scared Madison something fierce. She prayed for Derek Vinyard every night. She would lie awake at night picturing Derek's eyes and what he might look like without his bald head. And if she was lucky enough to get some sleep, she would dream of him too.

Derek felt empty. Every Tuesday he would expect to see Madison's face in the visitation room but she hadn't come. Granted, he knew he had told her to leave but he expected she would come back. He _wanted_ her to come back. He didn't know what he was feeling. He had never felt it before. Every time he had seen her, he couldn't stop staring and his stomach would be doing flips. He tried to hold on to every good memory he had of her. Then he realized every moment they spent together, whether arguing or not, had been a good memory. That confused him further.

But then Madison got the phone call.


	19. Chapter 19

Disclaimer: I do not own any of the awesome oc's in this story. But I do own Madison!

Madison's hand trembled as she tried to comprehend Dr. Sweeney's story. Derek had been jumped by his own gang. She felt fear clutch at her throat with no promise of letting go. She crumpled to her knees on her living room floor.

"He's in rough shape and he needs guidance, Madison. We can help him," Sweeney's voice reasoned. Madison felt hot tears frame her delicate cheek bones. She didn't understand why she was crying.

"I haven't seen him in months, Bob. He isn't going to want to see me," she mumbled weakly before another wave of tears streamed down.

"He asks about you every Tuesday, Madison," he informed her gently. Madison wiped her face and tried to understand.

"Why? He was so invulnerable. He never wanted my help," she argued.

"I don't believe that. I think he is afraid to ask for help. Madison, if we act now, he may start to listen to reason. This is the perfect time under unfortunate circumstances," he spoke with wisdom.

"Is Doris aware?"

"No. He doesn't want anyone to know. Madison… I don't believe he was just jumped," he hinted. Madison tried to smother her cries from Sweeney but he still knew. He was just polite enough to pretend he didn't hear.

"I can't see him… not after everything that's happened," she faded. Sweeney sighed.

"Madison, I am going to see him whether you will or not. He's going to listen," he spoke more sternly. Madison shook her head and laid her forehead against the rug.

"I can't, Sweeney… I am too involved with him," she confessed.

"What do you mean by that?"

"I have feeling for him. It is completely unprofessional and it will inhibit any further progress," she sugarcoated her affections for Derek. There was a long pause before Sweeney came with a reply.

"That doesn't matter. This man needs help and I believe that you are professional enough to handle it. If you really care for him, you'll see him tonight at eight thirty," he tried to reassure her, "I've got to go, Madison. I am on my way to see him. I hope I see you there," he finished before hanging up. Madison clenched her phone and threw it against the wall. She couldn't see him. No good would come out of it. But her heart ached with every passing moment se no longer saw Derek. He was the man of her dreams, only flawed and damaged by the society he grew up in. She heard her heart thud in her head and she noticed she began trembling.

"I can't see him…" she whimpered in her lonesome. Suddenly her briefcase toppled over and opened revealing a picture she had stolen from the Vinyard Family Album. It was of Derek, he had cleaned up for his mother. Madison scrambled over to the picture and observed it closely as she had done so many times. She felt the wall of her heart blast open and began to cry even more. She quickly checked her watch. It was seven thirty. She quickly collected all her notes that had fallen from her briefcase and shoved them back in carelessly. Then she glanced at Derek Vinyard once more.


End file.
